positivemilk: But mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card
calumon: my school’s “rival school” is on lockdown right now bc someone put weed in the vents so everyones slowly getting high oh my godd
sodom-with-autumn: autumns a lame butt love grace thx
menacherie: i dont understand the need to hide tattoos if you work with children. i mean you’re literally working with people that color on their body with markers all day if they could. hell they color YOU with markers if you don’t watch them close enough. the problem is the parents who need to get the fuck over themselves.
psyducked: such-a-retardis: catswithbenefits: why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
drarna: drugs? no thanks, the only “high” i need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder.
thelilnan: stickittothemandria: dampsandwich: why would you even drop acid? people are gonna slip on it and hurt themselves! only drop the acid if you can neutralize it by dropping the base I finally understand dubstep
icallmyselfal: if there isn’t a mosh pit at my wedding, I’m probably marrying the wrong guy.
swagony: wow i can’t believe lesbians shove their boobs up each other’s vaginas
danisnotonfjre: giftedbuttwisted: At a 4 hour concert you burn about 1600 calories. In a typical PE/Gym class you burn 375. the choice is yours
a-little-insane: the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk
wattsworth: urbieknowsbest: lzbth: a….boy??? that likes girls who are natural???? no makuep??? wow no freindzone for you very special gentleman snowflake This is a lie. I still get friendzoned. Quite often i might add. Im not scorned by it. just a fact. oh my god
humancentipeed: In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.
potential-and-difference: prop-215: dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them? How stoned are you right now? Was that a fucking pun?
kushroom: so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal
roseisreturning: mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths
niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt